astrology and incompatibility: are we blaming the stars?


photo by adam thomas on unsplash

“Gemini men are too faced.” “Scorpios are manipulative.” “Leos are egocentric.” “Capricorns are unemotional.” “Aries are short-tempered.” 


Studies and interviews have shown that these five signs are despised the most by women. They are often considered “toxic” because they are heavily stereotyped. 


These days, astrology appears to be playing a larger part in our lives than ever before. You’ll ask your boo for their sign and be surprised by their response, but for what purpose? To feed your belief that you are indeed compatible?


But what if you’re not? Will you start blaming the stars on your relationship’s failure?

Will you excuse them because they match a certain sign’s stereotype? 

Will you begin to tolerate bad behavior because you were warned that this sign behaved this way?


It should not be easier to blame the failures of your relationships on astrology. This is not a cautionary tale, but the aim here is to reestablish a certain truth when it comes to these stereotypes and offer advice on how to navigate these characteristics as a partner. 


Kicking off with our best friend, the Gemini, this sign has probably the worst reputation when it comes to its faults. Through interviews and studies, people represented this sign as two faced, untrustworthy and having a complex personality.


When you are with them, they are said to make you feel special; however, when you are not with them, they are said to completely forget about you, giving someone else the opportunity to swoop in. They are uncertain creatures, and exclusivity does not appeal to them. 


However, Geminis are inquisitive and adaptable. That being, they will join you in your foolishness! When it comes to deep conversation, they will be clear communicators, and clever, resourceful beings, constantly looking to challenge themselves. Geminis are therefore great matches with Libras and Aquarius because they will match that mental understanding, and Leo or Aries, because they will match that fiery energy.


Knowing their fondness for curiosity, Geminis are said to become bored rapidly, which explains their reputation for being non-committal. So, what should you do if they start to exhibit signs of disinterest?


Make them feel special and do unusual things with them. Laugh, be crazy, be spontaneous and keep them on their toes! Go with the flow, give them space and communicate. If they like a challenge, then why not spice things up on your dates, in your style or by simply playing a little hard to get? Just go have fun, that will most likely revive a Gemini!


Next up, are Scorpios. These poor souls were immediately associated with being manipulative, possessive, vengeful and playing mind games on their significant others. They would appear to be controlling and continually wanting to be in charge. 


Scorpios are, however, very passionate. When they love, they love fully, and that love can sometimes transform into something that consumes him or suffocates the partner. Nonetheless, they are romantic souls that will enjoy cute and creative dates. Scorpios are extremely sensitive, and they will put on this “in control” mask, because they have difficulty trusting.


Thus, due to their shared sensibility, Cancer, Virgo and Pisces are the signs that Scorpio is most compatible with. They’ll be more emotionally involved in reassuring them and encouraging them to speak plainly while dealing with the intense Scorpio personality.


Therefore, to manage a relationship with a Scorpio, I would advise showing vulnerability and establishing your commitment early on. They will simply require reciprocal love and devotion. Let them know that they can depend on you as their support system, so they won’t always need to be in charge. In the end, it will also be tiring for them to always be in control. 


Capricorns were characterized as being emotionally detached or unavailable. They were believed to have difficulty communicating their feelings. They are stubborn creatures who struggle with communication, and their exes would attest that apologizing has never been their thing. Given their emotional brittleness, saying sorry will be one of the toughest things they will ever have to do. They will therefore prioritize other “problems” than couple concerns because they are confident they are right.  


Capricorns are very responsible, hardworking and their drive will indeed push them to favorize career over love. Nonetheless, Capricorns will be very reliable. They will be practical, dependable and, most importantly, trustworthy. Due to their calming, grounded and supportive traits, a Capricorn’s best match will be a Virgo, Taurus or Cancer personality.


When they act stubborn, all you will have to do is express your opinion while offering support for their ideas. Instead of competing to win an argument or discredit the other person’s ideas or views, communication should focus on listening to one another and building on what they have to say. If they struggle with communication, set up your own rules so that you can still express your disagreements. The latter can be an “I love you but …” rule book where you can voice your concerns and consider your words before speaking or writing them to your loved one. Sometimes, in order to make your case, you’ll need to be patient and creative.


Leos are said to be vain, prideful and dramatic. While they are very generous, bright, energetic and protective over their circle, they care deeply—perhaps too much—about what other people think of them. As a result, they will always strive to please, which will occasionally lead to smothering. They will be passionate lovers, constantly expressing their affection.


Loving to be loved, a Libra, Aries or Sagittarius will be their ideal partner because they will match the flirty, romantic and passionate traits that they hold to boost their ego. 


To resolve an issue with a Leo, you will have to be persistent. When a Leo hurts you, they will tend to apologize because they want everyone to love them, but unfortunately, they will usually repeat the same mistakes. They will not always comprehend what is expected of them because of their self-centeredness. Especially when it comes to critics. They are going to stop at the critique and will be unable to proceed beyond the reasoning of it. As a result, you must be very specific about what you expect from them.


The best option will be to smoothly tell them. Meaning that, to convey a message you will have to first reassure then. Ultimately, Leos are sensitive signs who need to hear that they won’t be abandoned just because there is a disagreement. As a result, be affectionate when expressing your wants, and they will respond more positively.


Finally, Aries were expressed to be the most impulsive signs. This sign is brutally honest and can sometimes cause hurt, even with the best intentions. Because they are short tempered, they sometimes won’t have time to weigh their words, and will end up hurting you. On the other hand, if they are hurt, they will hold grudges. They are therefore said to be a little immature. 


While Aries like their personal space, they are very determined when it comes to love. They are true romantics. They will be supportive, protective, caring and they will put you at the center of their universe. They are true optimists and in turn, won’t mind working hard for their relationship to succeed. 


That is why Leo and Sagittarius’ passionate fire will match their ideal of love, and Gemini’s respect of space will match their boundaries.


Now, to navigate an Aries, the best way to do so is to be as straightforward as they are. Aries are not known for their patience, and lengthy conversations can bore them. As a result, you must be as explicit as possible right away. It’s not because they have a temper that they won’t listen to you. On the good side, being a little more aggressive might end up attracting them. So light that fire! Who knows what can happen when you meet them at their level?


Nonetheless, if you begin to have concerns regarding your relationship, avoid relying on astrological compatibility,  don’t expect them to change or and never blame their behavior on astrology. 


Remember, we cannot excuse toxic behaviors with signs. If your significant other is treating you badly,  leave. No star alignment will be able to fix it. 


You will always have to choose your well-being before anything else. 


In the end, astrology remains a belief, and it should not be used to perpetuate something that causes you harm because you find comfort in reliability. 


Having said that, I hope that astrology has helped you understand your partner better and that these ideas have assisted you in handling those traits in a way that works for you. 


Ultimately, these people deserve a chance, if only with the right person! 

Hi, I’m Catie Pusateri, the Editor-in-Chief of A Magazine. My staff and I are committed to bringing you the most important and entertaining news from the realms of fashion, beauty and culture. We are full-time students and hard-working journalists. While we receive support from the student media fee and earned revenue such as advertising, both of those continue to decline. Your generous gift of any amount will help enhance our student experience as we grow into working professionals. Please go here to donate to A Magazine.