From the early 2000s through the 2010s, many shows were created following the same format: a laid-back, humorous husband and a nagging, fun-killing wife.
In sitcoms, there needs to be contrast in characters to create humor. Most of the stars being men, their characters get free passes to be funny, outrageous and even lackadaisical. Their wives, however, must either cope with their antics or work against their husband’s goals to further the plot. Shows like “King of Queens,” “Everybody Loves Raymond” and even “Modern Family” all follow this format.
In the 2016 sitcom “Kevin Can Wait,” Kevin’s wife Donna arguably receives the worst writing out of all the sitcom wives who have come before her. Wanting to bring Leah Remini into the show as a love interest for leading man Kevin James in an attempt to revive the spark the two actors had in “King of Queens,” writers killed Donna’s character off-screen between seasons one and two.
“I get that people are like ‘Whoa, why would you do this?’ But it really felt like a thing like this was needed for this show to drive forward,” James said in an interview with the New York Daily News.
Instead of garnering more interest in the failing show, many viewers were outraged by not only the death of Donna but even more so how it was handled.
Refinery29 writer Ariana Romero was one of the viewers who shared her displeasure after news of Donna’s death aired in 2017.
“Obviously, the death of a major character should affect a series in some way,” Romero said. “Especially when she’s the main character’s wife… We’ve got no such luck here.”
Only acknowledging her death once, the lack of grieving and quick replacement of a love interest pointedly tells viewers that sitcom wives are disposable and far less important than their male counterparts.
Kaatie Cooper, assistant professor in the School of Media and Journalism, researches the effects of communication through documentaries, narratives and other forms of media. Cooper said cultivation theory may play an important role in what people take away from sitcoms. The theory suggests that the more media people consume, the more they believe the real world mirrors what they see on TV.
When male viewers see TV husbands have this fun, carefree life, it’s easy to get pulled into that fantasy world and expect it to be true. Beyond that, they see it’s okay if a few laughs come at the expense of their wives.
“It’s like, if you watch enough sitcoms, you might think that’s just how marriages work,” Cooper said. “Like the schlubby guy is entitled to this beautiful, put-together wife who has to deal with all his mess.”
Having so many shows pushing this narrative is harmful to viewers of all genders, enforcing negative stereotypes in relationship dynamics. Despite this, some sitcoms have put more positive spins on this age-old trope.
Shows like “The Middle” and “The Office” have plots focused on mothers and wives dealing with difficulties, but instead of trivializing them and playing them off for laughs, their problems are taken more seriously. Their characters are fully fleshed out, showing they are more than just rigid wives.
One of the most influential sitcoms of its time, “I Love Lucy” broke television barriers before they even formed.
“Lucy was groundbreaking in a lot of ways,” Cooper said. “She was quirky and drove most of the show, which isn’t something you usually see in more modern portrayals of sitcom wives.”
Why was “I Love Lucy” so progressive for its time? Lucille Ball, who played the iconic titular character, had significant creative control over the show as co-creator. Other sitcoms since then have largely had all-men writing rooms, which makes an enormous difference in the types of storytelling.
“If you have a more diverse group of writers, you’re going to tell different stories,” Cooper said. “In the last 10 years, there’s been a lot of recognition that those old stereotypes aren’t cutting it anymore.”
“Kevin Can F**k Himself,” a 2021 dark comedy series, pokes fun at the typical sitcom wife trope. Created by Valerie Armstrong, the series calls into question the treatment of women in sitcoms and how their relationships tread on being emotionally abusive.
Erinn Hayes, the actress who played Donna in “Kevin Can Wait,” even made a guest appearance in the series’ final episode, calling back to the mistreatment of her character.
As more shows like “Kevin Can F**k Himself” are created to challenge harmful depictions, there’s hope that the way women are portrayed on sitcoms will continue to evolve towards a more positive approach. With more diverse writing rooms, the days of the rigid wife and bumbling husband trope may finally be numbered.
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